Bad Days

Today’s a bad day.

An especially bad day in all proportions.

You see today’s my Birthday, not just any birthday, but my 30th Birthday.

I have never wanted to be 30. 30 means I’m a grown up, like a real life proper grown up. I don’t want to be a grown up. So I already wasn’t happy this morning. I was feeling pretty shit to be honest. image

Junior also doesn’t do birthdays. He does his own birthday, but that’s it. The focus isn’t on Junior for a day. He most certainly doesn’t like that.

Then to top it off Junior was at the dentist, he also had the day off school (he hates been off school),My Mum took him. (Junior doesn’t like me taking him). He had a tooth removed. All was good. He got given antibiotics, the dentist gave him tablet form.

Junior now hates me because he got tablets. I’m trying to kill him. I’m trying to choke him. I asked the dentist to poison him. The list goes on and on and on. Junior has now ran off out of the house three times. Three times I have had to track him down. I am litrally at my wits end.

I got him in. Tried to do the new choice thing, I was all enthusiastic, I thought it would really work. It didn’t. “Junior, you’re going in the bath, do you want me to wash you’re hair, or do you want to wash you’re own hair”. “Dads washing my hair, because I hate you”. And so it continued. Looking back on this evening, I shouldn’t of tried the choice thing today, I had already had the brunt of him. We all learn though. And as I sit here upstairs, holding back the tears, as Junior is on the sofa down stairs asleep. I have realised we are all learning. Junior is learning about himself. I’m learning about his limits. Today has been too much for all of us. I have noticed Juniors behaviours are more intense when he’s really high. For the last 2 hours he has been reading through his new car books, reeling facts off about them at a million miles a hour. Making notes, incase he forgets these facts, or looses his book. His tshirt  hasn’t been out of his mouth, even when he’s speaking. image

These are all little signs I need to be picking up on. Instead I never so Juniors fallen asleep hating me and the world and I’m borderline in tears and can’t wait to go to bed.

I can’t wait for a day. A full day, when we can all be at peace and the day runs smoothly.

Anyway tomorrows another day. A day of routine and structure, as much as it can be.

Tomorrow is also the day, I have a meeting on pictorial charts.

Tomorrow we will have a good day ❤️

 

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