This morning went well with Junior arranging everyone’s breakfast and telling them all when to get dressed. They all allowed him to do this which resulted in everyone been happy. Juniors happy to arrange and control every situation.
Then we picked up my Nephew for lunch at our house. That was when it went from bad to worse. You see Alfie Decided to hide in a box but in Juniors mind, boxes aren’t for hiding in. You put things in boxes. They stay upright and you certainly don’t put your pillow from your bed in a old dirty box! Especially when the said box has spent some of its life outside and any animal could have done some business on it. Cue the epic meltdown of all proportions. I can’t even begin to imagine what the neighbour thinks of me and my Cubs.
Today I have had things thrown at me, been sworn at, and obviously the weathers my fault! After all I must of done the rain dance last night, because I obviously wanted to be stuck inside all day. It’s my fault that he’s having a meltdown. I’m a stupid because I don’t know shit about cars and don’t spend all my spare time researching them.
Today has been bad, and it’s only after lunch.
Junior is now having a sleep over at his Nans. She has saved my sanity and can provide Junior the 1:1 he craves.
I honestly don’t know how to deal with these days. These are the days I crave a diagnosis. These are the days I doubt Junior needs a diagnosis. These are the days I feel I am failing my child. And I cannot parent properly, that I can’t make my child happy. These are the days I question could I do something different? Could I have parented better when he was baby? Have I triggered these behaviours? I always crave for a day he will be happy. He’s never happy with me. He’s only happy when something is to do with cars. These are the days I feel alone. we spend our days treading on eggshells, hoping not to trigger a violent reaction. He’s 10 years old for goodness sake. One day of no meltdowns is all I ask one day.
Hopefully one day in the future we will get that day.